sonny b.

“Only a life lived for others is a life worth while.”

Albert Einstein

so…. tonight seems to be one of those nights i’m sitting and somewhat reminiscing. coming across photos from high school and my first few semesters of college, i can’t help but realize how much people, including myself, grow and change over what seems to just be a couple of years. i always felt like i stood out in high school without really being understood. i don’t know if it was because one day i decided to open up and allow myself to not only accept who i am, but see if others would grant that same acception as i had done for myself. people i never spoke to (and vice versa) have become some of my best friends recently and those that i was closest to i’ve lost touch with. i make my best attempt at letting those who matter to me aware of it and i can’t emphasize that enough. aside from the fact we’ve all heard the saying or phrase that seems to be redundant and relatively annoying, “life is too short”, it really is. i’d like to believe we all have a purpose in life to be misunderstood. if we weren’t all misunderstood or judged, we wouldn’t be given a reason to shine and show the world how much potential one really has. with that, not only do we gather a great understanding of our innerselves but we get a glimpse of diversity and acceptance. i appreciate everyone’s different qualities and understand that we’re all human. i can’t imagine how life would be if we were all mirror images of each other. for me, i’ve always had a huge personality. i wear my heart on my sleeve and probably care too easily about other peoples’ well being. i like having a good time, taking advantage of this opportunity at life i was given, setting and achieving goals, and anything else i may encounter along the way. i do my best not to judge other people and i accept that we all have skeletons in our closets. no one’s perfect. no matter how much you think you’ve grown and progressed or succeeded in life, there is always room to progress and become a better person. i know how easy it is for people to make mistakes or be misunderstood and it’s unfortunate there has to be some sort of a wall or barrier put up in apprehension or paranoia of being judged. being that i feel like most people don’t understand my personality, and my willingness to get along with everyone as well as giving the benefit of the doubt in most situations or scenarios, it seems as though, no matter how hard i try, i portray myself as some sort of push-over. if i put up a wall, it comes off as being careless and conceited. on top of that, i can’t get over being shy the first time i meet someone new…. or 80th time for that matter. i haven’t yet decided if it has to do with the fact i’m afraid of what that person is thinking, or if it’s because i feel like i may portray myself differently than how i really am….. or if it’s because i’m afraid of opening up and allowing another dramatic, crappy person into my life. i have the hardest time saying no and just “going” with the flow. it seems as though that’s an easier way of avoiding dramatic situations and just a quick of way of getting through something. i know it’s something i need to work on with myself, and i probably sound like some huge emotional wreck but hey, at least i acknowledge my flaws and make an attempt at trying to better them. thanks for reading, friends :)